Interpret:

Tenacious D

Album:

The Rize of the Fenix

J:] Hey Kage 
[K:] Jables 
[J:] How goes it man? 
[K:] S’good… s’good 
[J:] Y’know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the 
best fucking band in the world. 
[K:] Well yeah me too! 
[J:] There’s no point in doing it if we’re not the best. 
[K:] Well s’true. I agree with that. 
[J:] I mean what, yeah we’re gonna be, yeah we’re really good. We’re like 
almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that. 
[K:] Yeah 
[J:] We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust! 
[K:] What, what do you.. 
[J:] All those fucking youngsters gotta lick our fucking boot or fuck it! 
Y’know what I mean? 
[K:] Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though? 
[J:] [sigh] Dude you need to fucking have some lessons. 
[K:] What! 
[J:] I know, you’re really good but you gotta expand your game. 
[K:] Lessons! 
[J:] Y’know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a fucking, 
y’know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal? 
[K:] Man, yeah, that’s true. That’s true. 
[J:] Well I’ve just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy. 
[K:] Really? 
[J:] And I, I hope you’re not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude. 
[K:] Yeah? Oh no, what! 
[J:] Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don’t like- ah hey! I 
swear, if you don’t like it we’ll fucking fire his ass. He’s out. 
[K:] Who is this guy? I never… 
[J:] His name is Felix Char [?] 
[K:] Urgh, what. 
[J:] He’s from Spain and he is the best. 
[K:] Oh god… 
[J:] I got him from the fucking London Phildsarmonic. (Meant to be Philharmonic) 
[K:] Urgh, I just, I don’t know him, it seems weird! 
[J:] Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him? 
[K:] OK. Alright. I’ll spend a minute with him. 
[J:] OK bro, he’s right outside I’m sending him in. 
[K:] Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid. 
[F:] Hello? 
[K:] Uh, hi! 
[F:] Hello, I am Felix Char. 
[K:] Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um. 
[F:] Ah, as, Jack as asked me to spend some time with you. Uh. 
[K:] OK, hm. 
[F:] One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique. 
[K:] OK. 
[F:] Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here? 
[K:] Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here. 
[F:] Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender? 
[K:] Ah well it’s a Gibson. 
[F:] Yes a Gibson, yes. Made by the same, uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up? 
[K:] OK. Yeah. 
[F:] No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap bap bap bap bap bap-bap-bap! 
[K:] What? What’d I do? What’d I do? 
[F:] You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar! 
[K:] I just picked it up, I just- 
[F:] No,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cállate tu bocar, pick it up from the body. 
[K:] The what! 
[F:] The body. 
[K:] Oh the body! Body, OK. 
[F:] I’m sorry about my accent. 
[K:] I didn’t know, I didn’t know. 
[F:] Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play. 
[K:] Uh, OK? Uh. 
[F:] No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight. 
[K:] They’re too tight? 
[F:] Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see? 
[K:] Oh! Hn. 
[F:] If I put my finger, on your finger. 
[K:] Hey! 
[F:] Then you can feel… 
[K:] I can! Wait! 
[F:] Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips. 
[K:] Mhmhm! 
[F:] Yes that’s good. 
[K:] Hey man! 
[F:] Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm. 
[K:] I’m just try- what!? 
[F:] Feel this. Do you feel that? 
[K:] Oh god! This is really weird man! 
[F:] That’s my cock. 
[K:] WHAT! 
[F:] That’s my cock in your butt cheeks. 
[K:] OH GOD! Hey! 
[F:] Do you feel it? 
[K:] NO! 
[F:] Now I’m going to tough your cock. 
[K:] OW! 
[F:] Let me touch your penis. 
[J:] It’s me! 
[K:] WHAT?! 
[J:] It’s me. It’s JB. 
[K:] GOD! 
[J:] There’s no Felix dude. 
[K:] What are you doing?! 
[J:] I’M FUCKING WAKING YOU UP! I’M TRYING TO SHAKE YOUR FOUNDATIONS! 
[K:] By touching me with your penis?! 
[J:] YES! By fucking touching your penis! Whatever it takes! 
[K:] God! 
[J:] That’s all I’m saying dude! I’m making a point! Let’s get fucking 
serious! Let’s get physical! Alright. Let’s take it from the top.